Aparna - Power of Women

“We don’t look at the stars in the universe and say how tragic they are, how bruised they are, even though that is what they are. We look at them and speak of the beauty they contain. The inspiration they give us. Even though stars are the scars of the universe we don’t see them as these broken pieces of gaseous matter, we see them as these majestic astrological blessings that give hope to billions. What if you saw yourself in that same light, or better yet what if you saw others in a similar way.”

Big Statement, let’s see if am able to carry its weight and am able to release it by the end of blog.

10th Mar 2015 : ( Aparna’s Marriage)

We were having a lot of fun in “Perawni” a ritual where the Ladkiwalas honour Ladkawalas for their gracious presence in marriage and “Galify” the Ladkawalas while doing so, quite opposite what we see in our daily life of appreciation followed by Honoring. This ritual was followed by “Vidaai” wherein all the family members tuned themselves in most emotional moments, exactly as a daily soap, a comedy soap followed by “Sasural Simar Ka”. I was waiting for this ritual so that I can cry a lot and show my emotional side, but I was not able to for some different reasons, but what I was seeing was all in the group became emotional, had tears in their eyes, were discussing about aparna. How good, how smart and how quickly she became a dulhan ( I wanted to shout and tell ki she took same time as everyone did and she is not hybrid to grow up quickly in few years).I was quietly seeingGovindji ( Aparnas Husband), poor chap, he had to keep smiling at every one even when he was on the verge of emotions ( of the discussions I had with him, he told me ki “ Bhayya, aise lag raha tha ki mein koi galti kar raha hoon aur keh do sabko ki aparna ko thode din aur rakh lo karimnagar mein, but jaise hi aparna ko dekha, saara emotions baaju mein rakh diya, aur soch liya ki kuch bhi ho jaaye, ab aur door nahi reh sakta <so sweet>).

The ritual got completed and I managed to stay calm without a tear. Interestingly “Vidhai” was followed up by Reception. As soon as Aparna left the place, I saw everyone rushing to get ready for the grand reception. In less than two hours I saw all the ladies who were crying were fashionably dressed and in 2.30 hours Gents were super fashionably got themselves ready for the occasion. Trust me, off late, guys started taking longer time than girls, and it’s a myth, as there are different reasons for it, because gents had to handle kids while their ladies get ready as the off springs. Poor Jijajis and my elder brothers were carrying their respective kids whereas their moms were not allowing those kids only to ensure that their makeup doesn’t get spoiled before the family pic on the stage. We had fun, masti, pics and a lot of selfies and finally some food.

We were returning to karimnagar, everyone was complaining that they were tired, were sleepless, the heavy food they had and few were complaining on the stress they carried for the last few days and desperately wanted some rest, and yes definitely they wanted including me. Bus started and the journey, all slept, kids elders and everyone including me….

Spare a thought guys here, this is what I want to discuss.

I was awakened by my thoughts, as I see one member was missing in the group came from karimnagar,and none other than she is Aparna. We all will get time tomorrow to take rest, relax and relieve, but what about her. She has the mountain task before her, the wedding night, then wakeup early and again the list of rituals. Ayyoh, when will she take rest, poor girl, she had to still complete the task of “Lapsi Bhojan” by all “Her in Laws”. She can’t say no to any of it because :

• She is a Indian girl.
• She is newlywed girl.
• She can’t say now to her in laws as they are showing affection.
• She is destined to follow all the rituals.
• She can’t disappoint her husband by saying no to his family members.

 Oh My God, I was panicked, how this little kid will handle all these things, that too new place, new people, new culture, new environment.

I was worried and started bothering about it, wanted to cry and shed out my concerns for her ( human brain thinks that if you cry for someone, the issue will resolve, stupid brain). But I was not able to. Reason so, was again thinking, was it the first time a girl is going through this, the answer is a big NO. Kavitha jiji to Vijaya, everyone has gone through ( prior to kavitha jiji, I was too young to remember). Again a thought stringed in my mind, did I had the same thoughts when Sharda Bhabhi, madhuri bhabhi or Soniya ( my younger brothers wife) came in, no, why, because I was Ladkawala, because we were in a state of arrogance.

Then why am thinking about it today, the reason was, I know aparna from her infant days, she grew up in front of me, I have pampered a lot and was deeply emotionally attached, so I was feeling the pain of how she will handle these mountain things.

I realized then, its Woman Power. Inspite of being restless, sleepless, carrying full of stress and no one can feel the sadness of Vidhai as much as a girl herself can and very importantly going through a big biological change in life, they can still smile and with ease carry them.

 I met her when she came back from sasural and asked her " how are you" I expected tha she will tell tired, but her answer was " very happy". - Answer of Woman.

Beti Bachao and Desh badao.

I rewrite one of the line again from the first few lines :

Even though stars are the scars of the universe we don’t see them as these broken pieces of gaseous matter, we see them as these majestic astrological blessings that give hope to billions.

With Love (learnt from Women)

Dinesh

P.S.  – Please bless the wonderful couple in the pic shared. Aparna and Govindji.